The good news is, every marriage can be improved – even if things feel bleak and irreparable now. However, the key to fixing any broken marriage lies in both parties being willing to put in the effort. Otherwise, if all the responsibility sits on only one of your shoulders, your chances of making any noticeable progress will be very slim. Here are 5 small changes that can strengthen your marriage.

Talk About Your Feelings Instead Of The ‘Facts’

If you’re married, you’ll probably remember a time in your relationship where an argument felt way bigger than it needed to be. But in that moment, it would have felt important to you and probably stressful because it created a conflict. Take arranging a wedding, for example – a period in many relationships that’s associated with arguments and differences of opinion. Even though it’s a temporary stage in the relationship, some couples don’t find it as easy to move past and forget about it, especially if arguments last for a significant period of time without resolution. Whether it’s a small disagreement or a heated argument, the best way you can feel in control of any conflict is to communicate how you feel rather than the facts you believe to be true. Talking about how something has made you feel immediately stops you from trying to be ‘right’, and instead focuses on feelings that simply can’t be wrong or argued against. Opening up about the thoughts and emotions that have been triggered by a conflict helps your partner to better understand how they can support you. For example, if your partner makes a comment about their previous relationships, expressing to them that it’s made you uncomfortable and anxious will encourage them to choose words that are more supportive and reassuring.

Read: Best 8 Wedding Adornments Sets For Bride To Select

 Make Quality Time A Priority

It can be easy in a stable relationship to get caught up in your own separate lives and neglect spending quality time with your partner. This is particularly common in couples who live together. Quality time doesn’t include spending an evening together after work, and continuing with your own routine in their company. Quality time should be dedicated time – every month or so – where you choose an activity or plan that you’ll both enjoy together. It doesn’t have to be costly. It could be an evening stroll away from distractions like phones, or taking date night into your own home and cooking a meal together. Quality time benefits your relationship by strengthening emotional connections and increasing intimacy levels.

Reflect On Your Own Habits And Behaviours

A common cause of disagreements in relationships comes from couples neglecting how their own habits and behaviours could be triggering their partners or making arguments difficult to solve. Everyone has a different communication style, which can be defined as the way in which you naturally express yourself and respond to feedback from others. The different types of communication styles are: Passive, Passive Aggressive, Aggressive and Assertive. Researching into these styles and figuring out which you might be closest to will help to explain why you chose to react in certain ways when conflicts arise. If your partner is aware of your communication style too, they’re more likely to be able to adapt how they communicate so it’s easier for you to respond to and resolve.

Another way to successfully become more self-aware is to try journaling. It could start off as a task you complete once a week, and progress into something more frequent once you feel more comfortable. Journaling involves noting down your thoughts, emotions and feelings about your relationships. Everyone will journal differently, but commonly it requires you to reflect on the day or week you’ve had and how certain situations have made you feel. Journaling can help you to process emotion and gain clarity of how you’ve been feeling – hopefully so that you feel more confident in communicating that to your partner.

Communicate Your Long-Term Goals

Talking about the long-term plans in your relationship can be a great way to offer reassurance and security to your partner. Whether it’s having children, buying your first home or relocating together, discussing future plans with your partner can make you feel more connected and hopeful for your future together.

For long-distance and international couples, this is particularly beneficial so that you can feel better prepared and aligned when facing complex milestones, such as a UK spouse visa application or any financial hurdles. Aside from making you feel closer to your partner, being aware of both your long-term plans in the relationship will give you moments to look forward to and appreciate, even on the more challenging days where moving forward feels slow.

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